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December 03, 2015

Make Sex Better... For You!

Feel fulfilled with the sex life of your dreams

 

This is not a ‘how to be better at sex’ book. In fact, author and sex therapist Marty Klein explains that trying to be ‘better at sex’ is one of our biggest stumbling blocks. Instead, this book is about how to make sex better for you. It teaches us how to enjoy sex, and feel fulfilled by the sex we’re having. (As an aside, I think that actually practicing the principles he teaches will make us better at sex.)

Sexual Intelligence by Dr Marty Klein

Klein takes us through the misconceptions many of us have about sex. He shows how we can shoot ourselves in the foot by holding on to ideas of how we think sex should be. Most importantly, he helps the reader to understand that many of those ideas are not really about sex, but about how we think we should be during sex.

Insecurities about our body and performance prevent many of us from really enjoying sex.

Using examples from his own practise as a highly experienced sex therapist, Klein demonstrates how focusing on what we think our partner might expect, instead of enjoying this intimate and beautiful time with them, actually makes sex less intimate and leaves everyone frustrated.

The most important lesson of this book is that sex doesn’t get less wonderful as we age. Many people feel that sex will never be as fun as it was when we were young and limber, or that it will never be as exciting with a partner of twenty years as with a new conquest.  

What Klein helps us to understand is that it will indeed be different, but different is not lousy. With the tools that this book provides, we can work within our limits and still enjoy a fulfilling sex life that strengthens our relationship and feels great.

Sexual intelligence covers three basic principles: 

  • Information and knowledge
  • Emotional skills
  • Body awareness and being comfortable in your body
  •  

    According to Klein, these are interlinked. If we arm ourselves with an understanding of our bodies and how they work, especially during sex, we are more likely to feel more comfortable about our physical selves. If we are comfortable in our bodies, and at home with our own desires and needs, we are better able to communicate that with a partner. With clear communication and self-knowledge, we can work with our partners to create a sex life that we both enjoy.

    Some of Klein’s ideas may challenge you at first. He questions why we are so focused on orgasms during sex, and why we consider sex a failure if there is no orgasm, even if we had a lovely time anyway. You may fight against some of those long-held beliefs, just as Klein’s patients do in the examples he gives. But by the end of the book, it’s clear that sexual intelligence is the answer to issues that are preventing so many of us from enjoying the fulfilling and exciting sex lives we deserve.

    We think everyone should read Sexual Intelligence. Pair it with a book like She Comes First or Come as You Are for reading that is guaranteed to give your sex life a boost!

     

     



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