Ask Matilda's: Can Masturbating Improve My Sex Life?

Ask Matilda's: Can Masturbating Improve My Sex Life?

Our agony aunt explains how masturbating regularly can bring about positive emotional and physical changes - resulting in a happier sex life!

Masturbate Regularly For Great Sex!

There are numerous benefits to self love!

Contrary to what you may believe, masturbating actually works to increase your sex drive - not lower it! 

THE QUESTION

I have always had a pretty active sex drive, and I love having sex with my partner - we enjoy open and adventurous sex. However, as I have become older, I have found my sex drive diminishing and I am not often in the mood for sex. I did some research and it seems some therapists recommend masturbating as a way to keep the fire burning. I thought it would do the opposite - surely pleasuring yourself would result in being less keen for sex? Please help - I don't want to lose the very special sexual connection I have with my partner!

OUR ANSWER

That's a great question! Firstly, know that what you are going through is completely normal. As you age, your body undergoes changes that can affect your sex life in a positive and negative way. From the positive angle: when you get older, you don't have to use birth control anymore, and older women often report feeling more confident and happy with themselves - therefore enjoying more freedom during sex. 

However, some women experience physical and emotional changes that make sex less enjoyable and appealing. The great news is that masturbation has numerous benefits and can help you with these feelings, and make sex wonderful again! 

How your body changes

As you age, your vagina becomes shorter and narrower. With a decrease in oestrogen, the vaginal walls can become stiff and thin, resulting in dryness (or a lack or natural lubrication). 

How masturbating can help

Masturbating can help remedy these problems. Masturbation stimulates the brain to produce actual physical changes in the vagina. How cool is that! Playing with yourself, stimulating your clitoris and vagina activates various neural pathways that cause clitoral swelling, lengthening of the vagina, lubrication and vaginal congestion (when blood flows to your nether regions, preparing you for sex).

A lack of sexual arousal can also cause women to not enjoy sex as much as they should. Masturbating regularly can help with this too - becoming aroused frequently can help increase natural lubrication and enjoyment of sex. 

Increase your sex drive with self love

A lot of people believe that masturbating will detract from your sex drive, causing you to want less sex with your partner. The opposite is true! Remember, your body can't distinguish between solo or couple's play. All it knows is that it is getting regular doses of dopamine and endorphins when you orgasm. These chemicals are addictive, and over time, you'll find yourself wanting more and more. Say hello to an increased sex drive! Yay!

It helps you know what you want

Knowing what turns you on and how you like to be touched is vital if you're to enjoy a happy sex life with your partner. And you learn this through masturbating. Once you can show your partner how to push your buttons, you'll find yourself enjoying sex much more, and therefore wanting it much more. 

Have more sex to want more sex

When you aren't having sex or masturbating regularly, you're probably not even thinking about it. However, the more sex you have, the more sex you want, because you think about it more. Remember, the biggest sex organ is the brain, so keeping yourself sexually aware is very important in maintaining your libido. 

Masturbation toys you'll love

Using your fingers is a wonderful way to masturbate, but using toys can also help increase your sexual urges. The very act of buying yourself a product designed solely for sexual pleasure can leave you feeling empowered and, well, sexy. Knowing that you have a toy in your cupboard, waiting for you, can also help you to want to masturbate more often. We'd recommend the following. These are five toys that focus just on your sweet spot - the clitoris. These are high-quality, luxury toys that will make you feel very special indeed. (After all, you're worth it!)

The Duet Clitoral Vibrator

There is probably not one woman who has tried this product and not enjoyed it. The Duet is a mini clitoral vibrator (great for discretion) that has a motor in each of its tips for precise stimulation. It's 100% waterproof (for fun bath time), almost silent and is made from silky smooth and exceptionally high quality silicone. With its leather travel case - this is a toy that's perfect for on-the-go pleasure. We love it and we think you will too. 

Duet Clitoral Vibrator Sex Toy

The Duet Clitoral Vibrator
You will want to masturbate all the time with this beauty! 

The Nell Clitoral Vibrator

Coco de Mer is one of the most luxurious sex toy manufacturers around - their products are simply gorgeous. The Nell clitoral vibrator follows new vibrator trends with twin tips that surround the clitoris for incredible pleasure. With multi-speed and vibrations settings, this toy will have you coming back for more. 

Nell Clitoral Vibrator

The Nell Clitoral Vibrator
A luxury sex toy 

 

The Womanizer Pro40 Clitoral Stimulator

This is a touch-free clitoral stimulator that uses suction to stimulate your clitoris. It has 10 speeds that allows you to control the sensations. So why a suction instead of vibration? It can bring you to orgasm quicker and also makes you less sensitive, so if you want to play again, you can. This is one of the more popular clitoral stimulators we stock.

Womanizer Pro40 Clitoral Stimulator

The Womanizer Pro40
A clitoral stimulator that sucks without touch

 

The Laya 2 Clitoral Vibe

The Laya Spot has always been a popular choice for the ladies. The vibrator is loved for its shape, which is perfectly suited to the female form. That’s why we were so excited to find out the Laya II has hit the market! The upgraded Laya II is black, made from body-safe silicone, is more powerful than the Laya Spot and is fully waterproof. Yay for bath, jacuzzi and shower time! It's a fuss-free lay-on vibrator that will work every time. 

 

The LayaSpot 2 Clitoral Vibrator

The LayaSpot 2
A fuss-free lay-on vibrator - the upgrade to the ever popular LayaSpot

The Queen Bee

This cleverly designed toy offers two different types of functions. On the one side is a gentle massage area, while the other side houses the powerful PulsePlate.

The PulsePlate is a pretty amazing invention. It uses a piston type mechanism to generate deep and powerful rumbly oscillations. These oscillations are significantly more powerful and intense than normal vibrators and lead to some pretty powerful orgasms. An oscillation function like this is commonplace in the medical world, but Hot Octopuss is the first to bring this patented technology to the sex toy market.

The Queen Bee Clitoral Vibrator

The Queen BeeA powerful clitoral stimulator that is setting new standards for female toys.

Takeaway

The more sex you have the more sex you want. If you're battling with low libido, try pleasure yourself at least three times a week, and start noticing the difference. Your body will change physically, while your mind will think of sex more. Visit Matilda's to see what range of sex toys you can choose to make masturbation even more fun!Â