A little bit of slap and tickle is definitely nothing unusual these days, and BDSMhas come to the fore as couples explore new adventures. Spanking is one way to get into a little bit of Dominance/submission play, and try out some S&M, in a pretty relaxed way. You don’t need implements (though if you enjoy the spanking, you may want to move on to paddles, crops, and even whips). It’s not a very unusual concept: we’ve all seen it in any number of movies, music videos and more. And it doesn’t seem like it would be very painful. After all, how hard can you spank someone with your bare hand?
The answer is: pretty hard. A bare-handed spanking can be hard enough to leave bruises for days afterward. It doesn’t have to be that way. If you cup your hand slightly as you bring it down, you’ll create noise, and sensation, but it won’t be as painful and it won’t bruise. It’s all a question of whether you’re just trying to generate a little heat, or you’re really trying to get that stinging sensation. We recommend sticking with the cupped hand version, especially to start with.
We’ve learned to start slow. Don’t go in swinging. Get your partner into position – either over your knee or bent over a couch or the end of the bed. Bent over the knee is a favourite position. It’s close and intimate, and comfortable for the spanker and spankee alike. Rub her (or his) buttocks gently (we’re assuming said buttocks are naked) and slowly. Then lift your hand and smack, fairly gently, in the middle of one cheek. If you get no response at all, you’re probably being too gentle. If the spankee gasps, flinches or moans, you’re doing well. If they scream and try to jump off your lap, clearly you need to reassess your strength.
Build up as you go, alternating between cheeks and sometimes getting your hand across both cheeks. You can go a little lower, to the meeting of ass and upper thigh, but for safety it’s best not to spank below that line, or above the buttocks. If your hand connects with genitals, it can be painful but some people enjoy it. It’s best to be quite careful about that, at least to begin with, and to make sure if you’re delivering a slightly harder stroke, it’s well out of the way of the delicate spots.
Don’t get into a rhythm. Nothing could be more boring than a spanking that’s predictable. Slow down, speed up, change up where your hand is landing, stroke the butt, even let your hand wander a little to stroke other areas in a teasing way. Remember, this kind of spanking is meant to be sexy, so add in some other sexy touch to ring the changes. You can also use the hand that’s not busy delivering spanks to stroke your partner’s back and upper thighs, if you’re coordinated enough.
Throw in a little dirty talk, if that works for both of you. “You’ve been a bad, bad girl, “ is always popular. You can also check in with your partner in a sexy way with lines like “It sounds like you like that. You can moan if you like it, “ or, “Tell me how that feels”. If you’re first-timers, this is a great way to connect and feel comfortable without continually stopping the spanking to say “is it ok?”.
If one or both of you doesn’t enjoy spanking, that’s quite alright. The popularity of 50 Shades to the contrary, kinky play isn’t for everyone. However, if you both enjoyed it, you can take things up a notch by including some light restraint, bringing in a paddle or using a blindfold. There are so many ways to play, and create new adventures in the bedroom. Enjoy a little spanking this weekend, and let us know your favourite spanking positions!