What Guys Want to Know
A Guide to Women!
Men have a lot of pressure on them when it comes to sex. They're supposed to be able to navigate the who, what, when and how of every sexual encounter. Plus with the ever increasing popularity of sex toys, they may feel as if they're no longer needed. Nothing could be further from the truth! However, men aren't always comfortable asking questions about this topic. So, we've taken the liberty of providing some answers to the more popular questions that our boys have surrounding the topic of sex:
We Haven't Slept Together Yet, How Do I Know She's Ready?
Everyone is different so reading the signals can be tough in this department. Just because she's into you doesn't necessarily mean she's ready to engage in the intimate act of sex with you. The key is to take things slowly. Try a sensual massage or make out like two school kids for a while. You'll be surprised how hot this can be. If you go slowly enough she'll feel comfortable with you and most likely, let you know when she's ready to go all of way. Remember not to feel rejected if she's not ready, sex will be more special if you wait for the right moment.
What Sexual Positions Do Women Like?
Most women prefer positions that provide deep penetration. This isn't to say that external stimulation isn't important - 70% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax - but if you're a true Don Juan you'll be able to delve deep while also using your fingers to tease her clitoris. Don't ever underestimate the importance of foreplay before jumping into the act. Adding some sensual twists into your sexual routine such as an erotic massage can do wonders to get her in the mood. Her favourite positions tend to be:
- Doggy Style Don't just bend her over and have your way (well, not all the time -sometimes this can be HOT!). Women like doggy style when you bend with them a little bit – it makes her feel like less of an object. This also enables you to reach her clitoris and allows for some great G-spot stimulation.
- Standing There's nothing sexier than kitchen counter sex. You can penetrate her from behind or from the front in an erect position.
- Cowgirl A lot of women like feeling in control so being on top is perfect. An added bonus is she can pleasure herself while you get a front row seat to all the action. If she knows that you love looking at her gorgeous body during sex, this position will arouse her even more!
- Spooning Women love this position because it provides deep penetration but also because she can feel her man's entire body pressing up against hers. Also, your hands are free to play with her breasts and clitoris which is always a bonus for women!
- Old Faithful The missionary position. It's comfortable, it's variable (try putting her legs over your shoulders) and it allows for deep penetration.
How Can I Tell When a Woman is Faking an Orgasm?This might be men's number one fear and it's not completely unfounded since it's been estimated that 70% of women fake orgasms - whether it be once in a while or regularly. So how do you know if you're getting her off or if she's secretly working her way towards an Oscar award? Here are a few tips to figure out if you're the stud you think you are. If she is NOT FAKING it, this is what you can look out for:
- The clitoris will retract as an orgasm begins, so position yourself in way that keeps you savvy on this telltale sign. Her breathing will give it away - she can moan and groan all she wants but if there's no change in breathing, she might be faking it.
- Her pupils will dilate and she'll start perspiring suddenly. This might be a hard one to discern, especially if you're in the dark or if you guys have been working up a sweat anyway, but it's something worth observing.
- Her lips will redden - both sets. Orgasm causes blood to rush to the mouth and the vaginal lips. Obviously, kissing can bring colour to the lips as well so look out for both signals.
- You'll feel contractions. When a woman orgasms her vaginal muscles contract - most guys can feel this erotic sensation around their penis.
Should I Trim "Down There"?
While guys can get away without grooming the magic carpet, most women would probably appreciate a little maintenance. Women love a considerate man and if you indulge in some light manscaping or intimate grooming she will be grateful - but don't get carried away, male Brazilians can be executed by very few dudes!
Whether you wax, trim or shave is up to you - and you could consult your partner on their preference but generally a mouth full of hair isn't so sexy. Perhaps even indulge in some intimate shaving together – for a really close shave. We can say that if you give the old peas and carrots a clean-up, she'll be likely to venture to your nether regions more regularly.
How Do I Tell Her What I Like?
Surprisingly ladies aren't always as timid as they seem when it comes to the topic of sex. Women are predisposed to wanting to know what men want based on the myriad of girl magazines that they're bombarded with from their teenage years all the way through their golden years.
Females probably read at least one "how-to" or article a week, so speaking to her directly is a worthwhile approach. If you're feeling shy, forward her an article with some ideas or send her a Whatsapp with a suggestive thought.
You can always feel her out by casually bringing up a topic in conversation - or resort to third person narrative if you're really uncomfortable. We all have "a friend" who likes…! The most important thing for men to remember when it comes to women and sex is that females simply love to be adored.
Whether it's a sexy bubble bath or a raunchy quickie, make sure you let your lady know how beautiful she is to you and do whatever it takes to keep that flame burning bright!
This article was first published for All4Women.co.za