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April 07, 2015

Lowered Libido in Women

What to do when sex has become a chore

Many, many women experience periods of not enjoying sexual activity. Sometimes it’s just for a few weeks, sometimes for months, and for some women there is a lifetime of discomfort and unhappiness associated with sex.

There are a number of possible reasons for sexual problems. Let’s start by outlining some of the symptoms:

  • General disinterest in sexual activity (especially if this is not usual for you).
  • Lack of arousal – not feeling aroused or experiencing pleasant sensations in the genital and/or erogenous zones during activity that would previously have aroused you.
  • Lack of sensation in the genital areas and/or erogenous zones.
  • No ‘swelling’ or lubrication appears on arousal, or you are unable to maintain it.

If you are experiencing these symptoms for long periods of time, you may want to consult your physician or gynaecologist.

There are a number of physical and mental conditions that can cause temporary or long term dysfunction. Extreme stress and/or chronic illness are both strongly linked to a loss of interest in sexual activity. Sadly, if you don’t acknowledge the issues and communicate with your partner about them, you may face additional stress, creating a vicious circle.

So the first step you can take to help solve the problem is take the pressure off yourself. Talk with your partner, and with a health professional, and work together to find solutions.

Hormone levels shift at critical points in our lives, including after giving birth and while breast feeding, and during and after menopause. Thinning of the vaginal lining as women get older can also cause some discomfort during penetration.

If your problems are definitely temporary – caused by recovery from illness or a particularly stressful time at work or at home – then taking time to communicate and have fun with your partner before some extended foreplay could make a big difference.

Allow yourself time to relax. A good quality lubricant can help to ease the process, making penetration more comfortable and easing the worry that you won’t lubricate naturally. If you’re finding penetration particularly uncomfortable for a time, especially following childbirth or illness, you might try more clitoral stimulation, allowing you to reach orgasm and relax more.

Over time, the combination of not stressing about vaginal lubrication and the pleasure of clitoral stimulation, may help to overcome some of the issues. Don’t push yourself too far. If you’re experiencing ongoing problems, and particularly if they are causing you discomfort and unhappiness, consult your GP or a qualified therapist to get to the bottom of the problem.



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