Beginners guide to Anal Sex

Anal Sex: Getting Into Anal

It’s naughty, it’s different, it can be gender-bending... Anal sex makes everyone’s heart beat a little faster, whether because they love it or they’re nervous of it.

It’s naughty, it’s different, it can be gender-bending... anal sex makes everyone’s heart beat a little faster, whether because they love it or they’re nervous of it. We lean towards loving it, for loads of reasons...

First up, the anus is a treasure trove of sexy nerve endings. This is an erogenous zone par excellence, and it deserves a lot more loving. That's why anal sex is on our go-to list for sexy play.

Secondly: whatever else you have, everyone has a butt, and everyone’s butt is the same when it comes to how to treat it to a good time. Whether you’re with a guy, a girl, or a gorgeous genderbender you can’t even quite figure out, you can bet your bottom dollar they’ve got a bottom. Anal is for everybody, baby!

We like to take a tip (hahaha, we can’t resist these double entendres) from Erica Moen: Lots of lube, go slow, and communicate. You really can’t go wrong if you follow those basics. But let’s get into just a little bit more detail, so we can make some more butt jokes...

Dr Lindsey Doe, of Sexplanations, suggests just resting the tip of your finger (or dildo, penis, etc) up against the butthole. Don’t push it, don’t rush it... very soon, you’ll see that puckering action as the anus gets used to the idea that this doesn’t feel so bad.

Now it’s time to lube up (more lube... aaannnnd a little more... now you’re ready) and make a gentle entry. Easy does it... Take your time and enjoy that tightness. If you’re the receiver, relax and breathe out as your partner eases in.

Now stop. Stay where you are and just enjoy it.  Give it a minute. Ready? Now push it a little more. How does that feel? Maybe a bit scary, still, but it feels good, doesn’t it? Yeah, we weren’t assing around when we told you this would be fun.

Keep going, slowly, until you’ve penetrated (or been penetrated) as far as is comfortable. If you’re ready for it, try a little slow thrusting. No rush. You can just keep still in this position if that’s what works best for you.

It’ll likely take two or three attempts before you feel quite comfortable with anal play. If it’s uncomfortable or hurts, take a break but don’t be scared to try it again another time. Make sure the receiver is relaxed and in a comfortable position. The classic ‘spooning’ position is best for newbies.

Did you remember the lube? Add some more, just to be sure. We recommend a good silicone lube for this: it lasts longer so you don’t have to keep pulling out to lube up again.

Anal Sex Safety tips:

  1. Keep it covered! Gloves for hands, or condoms for toys or a penis, are essential for anal play.
  2. Keep it lubed! Not just for comfort but to prevent tiny tears in the skin.
  3. No going from butt to vagina, ever! The chances of bacteria getting into the vagina and causing nasty infections are pretty high. (Luckily, if you listened to no 1, you can remove the condom and you’re good to go...)
If you really don't enjoy the sensations, don't sweat it. Assplay isn't for everyone, and that's ok. There are lots of other sexy ways to pleasure yourself and your lover. But(t) we're willing to put our butts on the line to say that many more of you will enjoy it than you'd suspect, so it's always worth a try.