A little bit of slap and tickle is not unusual these days, and BDSM has come to the fore as couples explore. Spanking is a way to test a little Dominance / Submission or to try some S&M in gently. You don’t need tools for spanking (although you can move on to paddles, crops, etc., if you want to), and a little slapping is not necessarily painful.
So, you innocently ask: how hard can a person spank with their bare hands? The answer is, Pretty hard! A bare-handed spanking can leave bruises for days, so be aware. However, bruising can be prevented by cupping your hand slightly as you bring it down. This way, you create a noise and a sensation, but it isn’t as painful as a flat-handed slap, and it won’t bruise. It’s all a question of whether you’re trying to generate only a little passion or sting someone. We recommend you stick to the cupped hand, especially in the beginning.
Getting Started with Spanking
To reiterate: start cautiously. Don’t go in swinging. Get your partner in position – over your knee, the couch or the end of the bed. Over the knee is the favoured one because it’s up close, intimate, and comfortable for both the spanker and spankee. Then rub the spankee's butt gently and provocatively, assuming said butt is naked. Lift your hand and experimentally smack one cheek. If you get no response, you’re probably being too gentle. If the spankee gasps, flinches or moans, you’re doing well. If they scream and try to jump off your lap/bed, then clearly, you need to reassess your might.
Accelerate as you go, alternating between cheeks and sometimes stretching your hand across both. A little lower, where the ass and upper thigh meet, is OK, but for precaution, it’s best not to spank below that line or above the butt. If your hand should connect with their genitals, it can be alarming and painful for them, but some folk enjoy it. Be careful about that - at least to begin with - and ensure that if you’re throwing a stronger swing, it’s well out of range of their precious bits.
Avoid getting into a rhythm. Nothing could be more boring and lose its lustre quicker than a predictable spanking. Slow down, speed up, swap cheeks, stroke the butt, and let your other hand wander a little to tease other areas. This kind of spanking is meant to be sexy, so make it so. Use both hands in different sensual ways if you’re coordinated enough!
Mix It Up
Throw in a little dirty talk if that works for either of you. Be sexy and suggestive. “You’ve been a bad, bad girl“ always works, and others like “That sounds as if you're enjoying that?", "You can moan if you like", or “Oh WOW - This really turns me on!” can spur them going. If you’re first-timers, talk is a great way to connect and feel comfortable without having to continually stop to ask, “Are you okay?”
If neither of you enjoys spanking, that’s OK. Don't flog a dead horse! Contrary to the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, sex isn’t for everyone. If you both enjoy bondage, however, you can rev things up by adding handcuffs or light restraints, a paddle, a sexy lace mask, or a bondage blindfold.
There are a multitude of ways to tie yourselves in knots. Be your own investigators. Just be happy and be careful!
