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Improving your love-life, one orgasm at a time

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September 29, 2017

The last 10 tasks of Sextember are here!

You're almost finished your challenge! 

After these assignments you will have graduated Matildas’ sex challenge, which has hopefully added adventure, excitement and a deeper intimacy and connection to your relationship.

This last chapter of Sextember aims to bring you even closer to your partner, with 10 assignments that are bold, creative and potentially out your comfort zone. We say: go for it! Explore your lover’s body and embrace the sharing-ness of it all. Exposing your vulnerability, communicating with, and placing your complete trust in your partner is the best way to improve your relationship overall. After all, good sex equals increased bonding and intimacy which, unsurprisingly, translates into a happy and healthy relationship. Let’s get to it:  

DAY 21 – Hand job

What: Kiss him deeply and sensually, and slowly stroke your hand against the inside of his thigh, over his clothes. Every now and again, you can brush against his penis with your hand, but take your time and draw it out. Enjoy his moans and pleasured sighs, and unbutton his pants when you feel ready to progress. Once he is undressed it may be tempting to speed up, but rather use even, rhythmic strokes, switching hands from time to time.

Why: Slow it down tonight, this is not about rushing to the finish line. Taking your time will allow your man the chance to fully enjoy each movement you make and relish the pleasure. Rekindle the feelings of youth and add a touch of spontaneity with this form of a “quickie”.  Another great benefit of a hand job is that it doesn’t require anyone to get completely naked, and there is zero need for contraception. Keep it in the bedroom, take it to the car or try it in a movie theatre, adapt it and make it your own.

DAY 22 – If you like it, put a cock ring on it!

What: Add a cock ring to your lovemaking. Fit it once he is partially or fully erect using a water-based lubricant, ensuring it is fitted to encircle the penis at the base of the shaft. Some cock rings, like the Love Ring, extends its reach to her clitoral region too, bringing her closer to a powerful orgasm with each thrust from him. Certain cock rings offer gentle vibrations too, great for her if the vibrating bullet is pointed upward, great for him if it is pointed downward, resting against his scrotum. Keep sessions to around 20 minutes each and always use enough lubricant to fit or remove the ring comfortably.

Rainbow Rings Ser
These rainbow cock rings are hypoallergenic and super stretchy – their multicoloured design makes every encounter a playful one.

 

Why: A cock ring restricts blood from leaving the penis, giving him a fuller erection that lasts longer. Some men love to remove the cock ring as they approach climax, saying the release helps them to achieve a more powerful orgasm. A great bedroom accessory for any man wanting to enhance his erection and performance, as well as those who experience difficulties with maintaining erections. Couples can expect longer love-making sessions, and a stronger erection will heighten the happiness for both partners.

DAY 23 – Watch porn together

What:Today we encourage you to dabble in a little voyeurism, and to enjoy it with your lover. Watch a sexy film together, no popcorn necessary. Dim the lights, but before you jump right in, make it even sexier by adding some “waiting” into it. Agree to wait until the end credits before you devour each other, allowing both parties to become more aroused than if you simply jump right in and miss half the film. Suspense makes intense!

Why: Watching a racy film with your partner is a way of sharing an experience. It allows partners to get to know each other’s sexual fantasies in action, with no need to verbalise explicit desires. Enjoying porn together can get everyone in the mood much faster, as indicated by a study which found that both men and women experienced rising temperatures in the genital regions around 30 seconds into a porn movie. By watching the entire movie before engaging in sex you allow for double the pleasure, as the movie will inevitably replay itself in both of your minds after the fact, and during the act.

Day 24 – Sex on the balcony, in the garage or even the car

What: Instigate a sexual adventure in an exciting location. If you choose the car as the location for seduction, strap your partner to the passenger seat with the lap part of the seat belt. Using a ribbon or perhaps some handcuffs that happen to be in the car (of course), restrain his hands behind the headrest, climb onto his lap, and enjoy a steamy joyride together.

Why: Remove the predictability in your sex life and throw away the rule book! The pumping adrenaline that comes with rule-breaking will heighten your arousal and strengthen the intimacy between your partner and yourself. It’s more about the experience than going for the orgasm, although that is a wonderful perk. Leave all of the familiar clutter and day-to-day stuff in your house that kills your libido and get sweaty someplace strange or unusual. Not only will sex in an exciting location add mischief and fun to your love life, but it also breaks the pattern of thought couples usually have about sex. Suddenly, you might both start having new ideas: “Let’s do it in the backyard” or, “I want you in the elevator”. Just keep it safe and don’t get caught!

Day 25 – Vibrating panties

What: Have a date night, take her dancing, or treat her to dinner at a restaurant. Stipulate what she should wear, including in your list, of course, a pair of vibrating panties. Keep the remote for yourself and tease her from up to 10 metres away. Watch her breathing increase and her pulse quicken at the touch of a button, and ease her down again before she reaches climax.

Lace-Up Vibrating Panties
Indulge your love of secret pleasures with our lace-up vibrating panties. These panties feature a hidden vibe, giving you a buzz whenever you’re in the mood for fun.

 

Why: Amid the pleasantries and attempts at looking calm and collected all night, she is experiencing all kinds of happy vibrations. You have the opportunity to be in control, having direct access to providing her with ample pleasure. The sexy secret shared by you both will certainly add an adventurous twinkle to your eyes, and a lusty longing to hers. Make her your ultimate playmate!

Day 26 – Plug and play pleasure: Anal plugs

What:The Ditto Vibrating Anal Plug is a great place to start if you are new to anal play. Add generous amounts of water-based lube to the plug before inserting it during foreplay. Progress with the sex as you normally would, and enjoy the body-rocking orgasms of anal penetration while you have vaginal sex.

Njoy Pure | Anal Plug
At Matilda’s we believe that good things always come in threes, and nothing convinces us more than Njoy Pure anal plugs

 

Why: Anal play is a wonderful way to increase pleasure with your partner, and conforms to no gender boundaries. That said, however, anal play will require some communication beforehand, it is not the type of artillery to surprise your partner with in the heat of the moment, especially if you are already fully kitted with toys. Don’t let the talk deter you; anal play is easily incorporated into the bedroom, provided you start slow.

Anal plugs move with your body, and for that reason, they are a great addition to vaginal sex, as each thrust will permit some wiggle and bring to life nerve endings you didn’t know existed (this applies to him and to her). As you approach climax, the tightening of the abdominal muscles will feel more intense, giving you a stronger, more pleasurable orgasm. Regardless of whether you decide to use anal play for him or for her, the benefits will be the same.

Day 27 – Mutually masturbate

What: Sit across from each other in the bath or on the bed for this exercise. Start by setting the scene: Candles, soft music and a little incense will do the trick perfectly. Make eye contact, but keep it to a lingering glance, just enough to help you both relax. Pay each other a small, genuinely kind compliment.

Take your positions on the bed or in the tub and start by running your hands over your body, down the sides of your torso or around your neck. Be very aware of the sensation of your own touch and if your attention wanders to (as it sometimes will if you feel shy) try to bring it back and really focus on the sensation of your fingers against your skin. Feel free to bring toys into this assignment, something like The Ashley Silicone Vibrator is perfect, it can be used on the bed or in the tub.

Why: In relationships, there generally comes a time when one partner wants to sleep, and the other would like to have sex or masturbate. Crossing that bridge together will make your love life a far more empowering business for both parties going forward. In a mutual masturbation session, you are both responsible for your own orgasm, which is a liberating experience with all of the hard work and guessing set aside. You will also achieve a new level of intimacy that sets you at ease with each other, not just for this session, but forever.

Day 28 – Whip

What: Dabble in a little light bondage with the Whip and Tickle Wand. Start by securing your partner’s wrists and using the feathered side of the whip to tickle, gently. Not so much “haha” tickles, more like erogenous stroking. The inner arms, belly, and neck are great starting points. When your partner is least expecting it, start with a light spank. It is extremely important to keep it lighter than you think you need to, you can always go harder next time around. Remember to agree on a safe word, and follow your partner’s reactions as a source of guidance.

Lilly Fringe Whip | Bijoux Indiscrets
This luxury whip straddles the fine line between pleasure and punishment. (We’ll take a double serving of both!)
 

Why: The area receiving the whip experiences a rush of blood, feeding the nerves and making for increased sensations. This means that any actions following the whip will feel more intense and pleasurable, while the sting of the whip also causes a rush of endorphins, making the whipping feel like a pleasure rush. It also gives one partner a chance to be submissive, and the one with the whip gets to call the shots. Explore some of the role playing that can happen, swap positions and talk to each other about what works for you, and what you would like to change. Remember to keep it safe and be sure that everyone involved is enjoying it.

Day 29 – Read some of your fantasies from your sex journaling

What:Today, it’s all about story time. Find a comfy place at home to sit together, like in front of a fire, on the couch (turn off the TV), or better yet, in the bath together. Save it for a time when there are no distractions or interruptions, and each take a turn to read an excerpt from your sex journal. If you are the listener, hold the space for your partner and give them your full, undivided attention. When they are finished reading, thank them for sharing with you, and mention something that you enjoyed hearing. This positive feedback will solidify the trust between you and encourage your partner to feel safe and valued.

Why:You may have noticed that this set of assignments is really getting you to expose your vulnerability, allowing you to discover that your partner honours the parts of you that you generally keep hidden, both the physical and emotional. We want to help you create a safe space in your relationship where intimacy can bloom naturally because both partners feel safe to express themselves, and respected. The benefit of having such a deep level of intimacy in the form of a sacred space means sex can really be taken to new heights. This incredible trust will spill over beyond your sex life, rippling into your daily routines and reflecting itself in the way you interact with each other.

Day 30 – We Vibe Couples Vibe

What: Add good vibes to great sex. The We Vibe is a handy little tool for couple’s play that puts the power to orgasm in your hands. Add it to your agenda for this evening as a foreplay enhancer or use it to heighten the finishing act.

We-Vibe Unite | Couples Vibrator
Entry level fun has never been easier! The We-Vibe Unite is slim, elegant and easy to use. It’s a satisfying beginner’s vibe with 10 stimulating modes, a remote control and a rechargeable design.

 

Why: Both partners will feel the sensual buzz this awesome little power tool packs. Its shape is easily adjusted to suit every preference and it stays in place even when you change positions during sex. The We Vibe gives her the power to direct her orgasms as she chooses and allows him to be fully part of that climactic event.

And that’s it! You’re done. Congratulations. We hope this 30-day assignment has added value to your life in some way – whether it’s been something new that you and your partner have explored together, or whether it’s increased communication and intimacy between the two of you. But don’t stop here – take the learnings from these last 30 days and implement them into your sex life going forward. Make an effort to try something new at least once a month. The state of a relationship is often reflected in the state of your sex life – so make it as good as possible. The rewards will be endless (as will your orgasms).



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