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April 29, 2016

Product Review: Womanizer

An Oral Sex Stimulator

There have been many reviews of the Womanizersince the original came out. I got the Womanizer W500 Pro for review a few months ago, and at first I just didn’t know what to say.

Then Epiphora’s review came out, and it seemed she’d said everything I would have said. The main thing most people, including me, have to say is: the Womanizer is a really strange toy. It does not help that it looks like a badly designed medical tool that’s been bedazzled by an enthusiastic tween.

That’s not really very sexy, I know. Believe me, I know.

The W500 series is a little more restrained than the W100, but it still leans toward the Liberace school of decorating. It's definitely an improvement, without the very problematic seam and stupidly placed buttons. It’s a bit larger, and fits comfortably in the hand, which is vital in a good toy.

The ‘Swarovski crystal’ power switch is a horrible idea, which I hope they’ll rethink in the next version. It’s pointy, and difficult to press. Switching the thing on when it’s in position is challenging. You definitely don’t want to switch it on before it’s in place, since it makes a weird, loud thumping and sucking noise until it’s firmly in the correct position.

Getting started with the Womanizer

The Womanizer comes with two ‘heads’ – a small and a large – designed to make it work no matter what the size of your clit. I appreciate that thoughtfulness, and that the larger head works quite nicely on nipples too.

For its intended use, the head must be placed over your clitoris. So, unless you have an ‘outie’ or are already very stimulated when you get started, you must part your labia with one hand and place the Womanizer quite precisely with the other.

Generally, one does this while lying down, sort of in a ‘crunch’ position, with your chin against your chest as you try to eyeball the right spot. It’s not an auspicious start to proceedings, I’d agree. If you have a partner willing to assist, then do enlist them. If you get the head improperly positioned, you’ll have no joy, and probably actually a bit of discomfort. 

The first few times I tried the Womanizer, I was scared to move, in case it slipped out of place. I’d have listed this as a drawback, but actually once you get used to it, you can indeed move around a bit, and I’ve even had success adding a dildo into the mix. Still, lying on your back with not too much movement is recommended. It is, as it claims to be, absolutely unique. Most reviewers, including yours truly, are a bit stumped when it comes to describing what it does.

Womanizer W500 Pro in mint from sucks, sort of. According to the makers, it literally gently sucks on your clit. Except that’s not really what it feels like. I read a review that said ‘it feels like a tiny kangaroo is boxing your clit’, and that is a really good description.

But that, too, doesn’t quite capture what it feels like. It sort of, kind of, feels like it’s sucking and at the same time blowing air at your clitoris. Yes, that sounds impossible. It feels a bit impossible, to be honest. I can tell you that it will make you orgasm.

Repeatedly. Probably quite quickly. The orgasm may even take you by surprise. You’ll be lying there thinking “well, what’s all the fuss about this thing, it.... oohhhhhhhhhmmyyyygooooddddd”.  

The first time it happened, I thought it was a fluke. The second time, I got a little flustered. I didn’t want to like the Womanizer. It’s a strange toy, with a terrible name, and it’s by no means cheap.

It frustrated me that orgasms with it felt strange, not like any orgasm I’d had, with a partner or by myself, before. And I kept thinking of this review, and how I would persuade you that this is an item you really should shell out that cash for (or not) when I couldn’t really describe how it works. You understand, dear readers, that we must test very thoroughly, to make sure we give you a good enough review. So I tested again. And again. And as much as I fought against liking this weird toy, I have to say that I may even love it. Sometimes I just want a quick, stress-relief orgasm. Sometimes I want a long, intense, bomb of an orgasm. Sometimes I want to combo with another toy. Over the few months I’ve used the Womanizer, it’s delivered on all of those.

Is the Womanizer worth it?

Womanizer W500 Pro Lifestyle Shot


It may be weirdly shaped, and absurdly ‘girlyfied’, but the silicone finish is smooth and obviously high quality. As is the nicely made satin bag that comes with it, and the lovely box.

The user manual is quite clinical, but useful. The Womanizer takes a couple of hours to fully charge from flat, and that charge seems to last forever. Honestly, I’ve only ever charged it once, and it’s in fairly frequent use.

As mentioned, the pointy ‘crystal’ power switch is an annoyance, but it’s made up for by the easy (and well-positioned) intensity buttons. You can power the Womanizer all the way up from ‘gentle pummel’ to ‘hell's bells that’s hardcore’. There’s something on that scale for everyone, I would say.

The interchangeable heads slip on and off for easy cleaning, and a good wipe suffices for the body. If you do use a lot of lube, you may want to wipe down the motor carefully as well.

When it comes down to it, if someone asks me which is the best clitoral stimulator Matilda’s stocks, I have to say it’s the Womanizer. There are other clit vibes that work beautifully in their own way, and certainly some that are more versatile. It’s just that, now that I’ve experienced the weird and wonderful Womanizer, it’s the one I take out of the toy box first, every time.

I’ve read a lot of reviews of it, and I’ve chatted to friends who’ve tried it out, and everyone agrees: it may be pricey, but it’s worth its weight in orgasms.

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