Understanding Male Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction– it’s not a widely spoken about topic. So much of a man’s self-worth is tied to his sexual prowess you’d be hard pressed to find a guy to chat openly about it. When their sexual performance is compromised, most men see it as a reflection of their virility or lack thereof.

While sexual dysfunction is a remediable condition, it’s often such a sensitive subject that it goes unaddressed and thus breeds even deeper psychological issues in a relationship. Women must remember that getting angry or frustrated at his inability to perform will always worsen the situation. The best approach is reading up, creating a safe space for dialogue and demonstrating some compassion for your man’s manhood. There are so many solutions, he is bound to be up and running in no time!

Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems men encounter- namely, a lack of control over ejaculation. This means that a man will often come very quickly during mid-penetration or directly after penetration –or sometimes just before. Most men at some point in their life will experience this. However, if it becomes a regular problem you should seek help.

The most interesting fact regarding premature ejaculation, which many men aren’t even aware of, is that very rarely is it directly due to a physical ailment or flaw. The dysfunction is almost always due to a mental issue that is plaguing the person in question. Instead of ignoring the issues that may lie at the core of this dilemma, it’s important to figure out exactly what is affecting your sex life. Although it’s not a discussion most men would wish to have with their partner or even their GP, figuring out what may be diminishing your sexual exploits is vital to a happy and healthy relationship.

Premature ejaculation can be due to a variety of factors. Depression, stress and performance anxiety are usually the main culprits. There are also cases where the man becomes overly aroused during foreplay and consequently climaxes too soon after penetration. In both of these scenarios, the most beneficial remedy is some sort of mental exercise such as meditation. The mind plays such a huge part in sexuality- learning to control your thoughts can do wonders!

Nowadays there are also special lubricants available that can assist in controlling premature ejaculation- allowing for longer and more intimate sexual encounters. These lubes will slightly desensitize/numb the penis and prolong your sexual escapades resulting in a better experience for both partners.

Erectile Dysfunction/Impotence

Erectile dysfunction is defined as the inability to develop and maintain an erection during sexual performance. As with premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction shouldn’t be seen as a cause for concern unless it becomes an ongoing problem.

It’s estimated that about 5% of men at age 40 will experience some kind of erectile dysfunction along with 25%-40% at age 65. The numbers are quite astounding but with the right tools, aging and sexual dysfunction needn’t go hand in hand. With foreplay and a safe sexual environment, all ages can enjoy a healthy and exciting sex life.

Like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction can be psychological. However, it has been found that the causes of erectile dysfunction are often purely physical. It’s been shown that 85-90% of cases are, in fact, physical. Physical issues are categorized as ageing and vascular (related to blood vessels and/ sponge tissue). These factors, along with smoking, poor diet, lack of exercise and substance abuse, can contribute to sexual problems. Medication side effects and injury can also lead to dysfunction.

If your erectile problems persist, there are numerous medications and treatments available from your GP to assist in reclaiming your sex life. There are various options which may help, but it’s incredibly important to always speak to your GP when deciding on which route to choose. They may suggest a change of medication, supplements, therapy or even corrective surgery. There are also a number of medically tested vacuum constriction devices (penis pumps) which are able to assist blood flow to the penis for stronger & longer lasting erections.

If you’re feeling self conscious and aren’t ready for a trip to the doc quite yet, you can try a tantric approach. Since much of male sexual dysfunction is psychological, the relaxing benefits of tantra can be a worthwhile pursuit. The practice of “soft entry” has been found to alleviate some cases of sexual dysfunction. The male enters the woman in a more or less flaccid state (another awesome opportunity to try some lube!).

Once he is inside, there is little movement as the bodies connect and become comfortable with each other. Eventually the penis should respond to the natural coercion of the vaginal walls. It may sound a bit dodgy but this method removes the psychological pressure of achieving a full erection and lends itself to intimate sexual relaxation with your partner. Even if you’re not having dysfunction issues, “soft entry” may be a foreplay technique worth trying!

Today there is no reason for anyone to suffer from sexual performance problems– there is a solution that can help you.

This article was first published for All4Women.co.za