Getting It On As You’re Getting Older

Senior Sex Can Be Super Steamy

Society isn’t very kind when it comes to sexuality and senior citizens. We assume that when people retire from their jobs, they retire from their sex lives too. After all, the last thing most of us want to visualize is grandma and grandpa getting it on. However, this attitude is unfounded and more importantly – incorrect. Older people often lead active, satisfying sex lives and here’s why:

Sex is About Connection

Some things get better with age – cheese, fine wines...sex?! Yes, sex. While younger people tend to qualify good sex by the number of kinky position you can pull off or how many times you can orgasm in an hour, older people realize, that when it comes down to it, sex is about connecting with their partner. It’s about being together, sharing intimacy and pleasuring each other.

An Empty Nest Can Be Rather Romantic

Older couples often lead less stressful lives. Their sex lives are no longer inhibited by daily distractions and pressures. The kids are out of the house, they’ve retired and they have oodles of free time to express their affections, not just through sex but by spending time together. If you’re single, you have more time to engage in hobbies that the opposite sex might enjoy too.

The Thrill Isn’t Gone

Knowing your partner’s body doesn’t mean that the thrill is gone. It means that you’ll be able to genuinely satisfy each other – that you’re unafraid of pleasing each other. You’ve had years of practice, experimentation and hopefully, communication. The expectations left a long time ago and so there is no room for disappointment. If you’re single or if you’re a new couple, chances are still, that you’ve been around the block so while exploration is always fun and exciting, it’s more about sharing intimacy with someone than engaging in acrobatic positions. 

How to Keep It Fresh

Communicate Your Concerns

If you’re growing old with someone it becomes increasingly important to be able to speak to each other about sex. Men and women both experience physical and mental changes as they grow older so it’s critical to be able to voice your concerns, insecurities or even changing desires.

Try New Stuff

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks...or can you? If your sex life has become routine or if you simply want to try new things, there are so many options to explore. Maybe the positions that you favoured as a young person aren’t comfortable anymore and you need new ones. Or perhaps you’ve heard about how cool the new vibrator designs are – why not try one? You only live once – you might as well make it fun!

Stay Caffeinated

You heard us. According to studies, a cup of joe works wonders for the mojo, especially in elderly women. This could be because the brain is actually your most powerful sex organ. What goes on upstairs dictates how the rest of your body responds. Keeping your synapses lubricated with caffeine induced stimulation translates as a healthy sex life and an increased ability to share intimacy.

Dealing with Dysfunction, Disease & Illness

Most elderly folk are perfectly capable of leading an active, satisfying sex life. Older women usually maintain their physical ability to orgasm although they may experience changes in flexibility and vaginal lubrication due to lowered hormone levels after menopause.

Older men, despite the social stigma, don’t lose their capacity for erection and ejaculation although things might slow down a bit. An erection can take a while longer to achieve – and it may not be as firm or as large as before. Also, ejaculation can be shorter and recovery time longer. The enjoyment remains the same though!

Often, when problems occur, it’s the result of disease, disability, medication or emotional upset. It’s important to realize that you’re dealing with a lot more factors as you age. You should speak to a doctor or a homeopath about the changes you or your partner are experiencing instead of getting frustrated or angry. A lot of the time, things aren’t as bad as they seem. For example, many people assume that heart problems mean an end to their sex lives. To the contrary, sex can usually be resumed 12 to 16 weeks after a heart attack. Diabetes is another challenging physical ailment since it’s often accompanied by impotence. Once diabetes is diagnosed and treated however, potency will usually return.

Communication and support are essential for a long life of lovemaking, intimacy and satisfaction. Having a partner to grow old with is something worth celebrating, appreciating and enjoying in every way possible!

This article was first published for All4Women.co.za